This afternoon Ryan, I, Sabrina and John went to see the worst movie of the year 50 Shades of Terrible, but before the movie we went to eat at Matchbox; one of my favorite pizza places. I had a Bloody Mary, prosciutto and fig pizza with honey glaze, and cream of cauliflower soup. It was delicious... Then we went to the movie where I had a glass of Merlot and half of Sabrina's "junk" which consisted of rice crispy treats, potato chips, popcorn, and pretzels drizzled with chocolate. Once we got home, a couple of friends came over; we drank beer and went to hibachi. I destroyed some "Japanese Lasagna" sushi, 4 bottles of sake, an entire plate of fried rice and yum sauce. It was heaven. After dinner, we played card games and drank more beer. I wish I could say I regret any of it, but I don't.
See, last week had a really shitty end. Before this challenge started I used to drink as a source of comfort... But as I am aware this is unhealthy, I was able to significantly cut back because I was surrounding myself with people and places that made me feel comfortable and safe. As of right now, I don't feel a whole lot of comfort or safety, I feel a whole lot of pain and vulnerability and am having a really fucking hard time trying to remain positive on this little journey of mine. So this weekend I have basically stayed drunk and am eating my feelings.
I'm trying to take it one day at a time and forget the entire situation, but it's hard. The pain comes and goes, now I just need it to stay gone. Until then, pray for me friends. I'll talk to you tomorrow.
