Day 78-90: Winding Down

12 days until the end of the challenge. It almost feels surreal. I stopped posting daily because I would just run out of time by the end of the day, but I did keep notes.

Day 78, Tuesday, 3/31:

Ugh, I feel terrible, but the show must go on. I have Q @ 6 and tanning to follow. Have I mentioned how much I love my tanning salon? I don't think I am going to let myself go this long without tanning again. I feel like me again.

Day 79, Wednesday, 4/1:

I have Q @ 12 today, I cant believe I only have 5 training sessions left.... am I going to be able to keep going without her? Damn... 11 days left, I am so nervous! Thankfully I have work to keep me busy. Off to pack for tomorrows staging.

Day 80, Thursday, 4/2:

I do love that my job is not sedentary. Today I staged a home and was on my feet 6 hours strait. I am not complaining. I love what I do. It feels good to work with your hands. There is something strangely calming about it. Also, the immediate gratification is certainly addictive. 

After the staging I went to see Amy, my tattoo artist, to finish up the piece on my arm. I love it so much.

 

Day 81, Friday, 4/3:

It is becoming increasingly hard not to drink. I think I will go shoot guns. I have Q this morning, need food, must go to Costco... then Pew Pew Pew. Joey and I will have to hit up Elite Shooting Sports this evening. I am in need of some Guntry Club time.

 

Day 82, Saturday, 4/4:

Well I had Q this morning, so I didn't exactly feel bad about that Bloody Mary I had with brunch, damn it was good. Today is the International Pillow Fight Day and we are going to the National Mall to whack strangers with pillows, don't worry, it's organized. We met up with some friends for brunch prior to heading over to the fight. It would seem I am incapable of brunching without booze. Worth it, my Bloody Mary paired perfectly with my smoked salmon and fruit. Nom nom nom. The pillow fight was epic. Such a good time.

After the fight, we wandered over to dinner. I had a salad... and a vodka soda. Am I sabotaging myself at this point?! I mean, I have 8 days left. Fuck Nicole, what is up? After dinner, we headed to Federal Triangle to catch a Capital Steps show. I think we were the youngest in there by 30 years, but whatever, it was hilarious. You can't go wrong with musical political satire in this beautiful city of ours.

Day 83, Sunday, 4/5, Hoppy Easter:

I hit up the sauna this morning to sweat out the alcohol, I guess in my head that would keep me from drinking again today as we are converging on Top Golf this afternoon to celebrate Easter and basically just being awesome. Again, apparently I am incapable of not drinking during certain events... driving ranges seem to be one of them. Joey and I split a bucket of delicious Heinekens. NO REGRETS! But now I am certain I am trying to sabotage myself. Get it together Canole. 7 days left.

Day 84-90, 4/5 - 4/12:

7 days. No more notes. Only zoned in on the finish line. This time I am a competitor before I am a wife or friend. Thank God those who love me understand that. I have worked too damn hard to give up now. I am running twice a day, sitting in the sauna every night, wrapping my stomach and arms with "those crazy wrap things" and weight training in-between. Every calorie is counted, every movement is tracked, every drop of water is measured. I had 7 days and tomorrow is the day. Monday I weigh in.

Day 58: Rain Rain Go Away

Well, I did not make it to Crossfit this AM. I probably could have squeezed it in before I went off for work today, but the weather did not help with motivation. I am so over this rain. I had two consults in Fairfax and driving in this mess is no fun at all. I got home about 2, wrote up the consults and sent the pics off to my boss. Then headed over to my friend Lindsey's house for dinner and an over due chill sesh.

We ordered from Afghan Kabob House and it was magical. Shocker, I had Salmon kabobs, brown rice, and spinach.... I also may have cheated and had a piece of falafel, afghan bread and tzatziki, but OMG it was so worth it. I miss bread so much. I love it so, so, so much. It was like heaven. I mean, if I am going to cheat, at least it's a healthy cheat.

It was a great night, we ate delicious food, caught up on life, and watched bad TV. We should do that more often. You should too. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Day 57: Surround Yourself with Greatness

I don't think my brain was properly functioning this morning, our training session was at 9am. I wish I could tell you what we did, but I don't remember. I do remember that we did super sets of arms and I remember doing Abs because I'm still sore, but everything else feels like a blur. Stupid time change. When are we going to stop this nonsense?

I came home and my mind started to become clear around noon. I cleaned my house, prepped for this weeks work things, then headed off for a staging consult at 5pm with a new realtor. It went fabulous. I love my job, truly. I left about 6:15 and headed to the house to get ready to go back to the gym.

Rush hour in this area is a bitch, but I made it back to the house in time to get ready and head back to the gym. Joey had a training session and I always try to go back when he goes. 1. For solidarity. 2. Because it keeps me accountable for doing two a days. What can I say, I am a social creature. I don't like going anywhere on my own if I don't have to. That may be why this go round is working out so well for me. I have Q, trainer and nutritionist extraordinaire and Joey, friend and motivator extraordinaire. They both keep me going and accountable. If I didn't have them, I don't think I would be doing so well. It is working out quite nicely. So, this evening I spent 30 minutes on the treadmill doing interval training. The incline was set to a low of 3 and high of 18.5. I sweat like a beast on that bad boy. That's how you know its working right?

I will leave you with a quote I saw that really spoke to me. I am blessed to have incredible people in my life and I wish the same for you. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Day 46: Do You Boo

Today was quite the adventure! I was supposed to stage today, but mother nature is back to her old tricks and ended up snowing us out, so we had to reschedule for tomorrow. Instead, I used today to run all of my errands I would have done Friday... except for one very awesome inspired surprise.

I started off the day running to Gainesville to meet Andrea from Thick to Thin to pick up items for this weekends Combine where I am a vendor. I left there and headed to Alexandria to see my stylist Caitlin for new color. For the last year I have been doing super fun colors, pinks, blues, purples, oranges, yellow, greens... whatever mood I'm in really. Today was pink and orange. It's fabulous, I love it.

 

As I was sitting in the chair I felt inspired to go get a tattoo. There is a saying that really spoke to me at the beginning of my journey. As a matter of fact, I posted it on Day 21 of this blog. I even went out and bought an engraved bracelet to always have it near me. So, today I decided to get it on me permanently to celebrate 45 consecutive days of a successful lifestyle change. I stumbled upon a shop in Arlington where there were two artists that really impressed me with their portfolio... so I decided to chance and see if one of them was available. It was a sign, because Amy rounded the corner and it was on. We discussed what I wanted and decided to do it in two phases. I got the quote today and after the challenge, in early April I will get the background (which will be watercolor flowers). I am so pumped. It is going to be so rad. This is it so far:

 

 

 

After I left Rick's, I headed over to Del Ray to go meet up with friends. Ed was in town from Ohio, so we all got together for dinner. Let me tell you, eating out on a strict diet is hard as hell, but I managed to do it. They didn't have sweet potatoes, so I just had plain Salmon and green beans, no butter or hollandaise. As soon as I got home, I cooked my sweet potato and it was delicious. It was a great evening. We found out Ed was just selected for Chief and that couldn't be more spectacular. There is no one more deserving that him. I love you Ed, CONGRATS again honey!

 

We ended the evening around 8 and back home we came. Overall, it was an amazing day. I had a phenomenal time just doing me. And now I am super tired, so I am going to take my behind to sleep. Goodnight beautiful world. I will talk to you tomorrow. 

Day 37: Back On the Wagon

Today we got a whopping 4 inches of snow here in Northern VA and the entire world shutdown. I was planning on laying in bed the entire day feeling sorry for myself, but I got a text from my bestie Abby that said "I love you, don't forget that". She has a knack for texting me right when I need her to and as such gave me the push I needed to get my ass out of bed and back to it. So, I got up, took a shower, put on my snow boots, and ran outside to shovel my driveway.

If you have never had to shovel a driveway before, let me assure you it is a hell of a workout. I got about halfway done before Joey wondered outside with a bottle of water and asked if I needed help. Again, timing with my people can't be any better. I was just about to walk over to my patio to take a break, so I handed him the shovel and then my phone rang. Q was calling to see if I was still acting like a big baby and if I wanted to come and get a workout in since we had to cancel yesterday because of the storm. I did, so we scheduled a 3 o'clock and I went back to de-snowing our cars.

Of course, this turned into a snowball fight and all out war. I ended up getting tossed in the snow a couple times, Joey got snow shoved down his shirt and in his ears, while Ryan stared out the window shaking his head. It was pretty fun. It was like we were 5 years old. Maybe next time I will get Joey and Ryan to build a snowman with me.

At 3pm we were off to the gym. Q had me do a treadmill workout that included 5 minutes on the machine at a 10% incline, 10 walk-out pushups, 15 air squats with a shoulder press, and planks till failure. We did this four rounds, then I went off for 30 minutes in the sauna. It was pretty magical.

Between brutally honest pep talks and a good workout, it was the final push I needed for me to say fuck the people that make me sad. I am not going to give anyone power over me (other than Q), because I am mother f'ing rock star and I am in this to win it and don't have time for bullshit.

So yay for being back on the wagon, we are only going up from here! BTW, thank you guys for all of your kind messages, texts, and phone calls. You make me strong and I will be forever grateful. I love you and I mean that. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Day 32: That Music Though

Today was quite the productive day. I got an absurd amount of work done. Juggling 3 positions, in 3 companies and a daily blog could prove to be a handful, but a side effect of working out seems to be improved focus and additional energy. This makes keeping things in order a lot more manageable than it was a few months ago. I am digging it.

Part of my focus has to do with the music I listen to when I am working.  I love a lot of different music. Jazz, EDM, Electronica, Rock, Some Pop, Folk, Blues, R&B, even Country when I am in the mood..... but It's no secret my favorite music is Hip-Hop. I love it. Good Hip Hop is pure poetry and good beats have the ability to transport you into a different dimension. Example: today I was listening to Kendrick Lamar - Good Kid, M.A.A.D City and Nas - Illmatic on repeat. Both, excellent. Never get tired of them. I put on the music, I get my focus on, and I do work. It's great.

Let's talk about what is NOT great. //begin rant// Country or Justin freaking Bieber or some other terrible pop shit in a super intense spin class. I love MOI (Mind of Intensity) Cycle and I love Krank, but I do NOT love the heinous music that comes along with it. I need to be able to zone out and fall into the music in order for me to get the most out of this class. If one minute we are listening to some killer Dubstep, going 100 RPM's, then all of a sudden some woman or man child who sounds like a woman comes on crying about their lost love, I AM NOT INTO IT! The mood is now wrecked, I am irritated that I am being forced into listening to some shitastic music, and my legs or arms stop doing what they are supposed to be doing.

 

This has nothing to do with our instructors. Steven Shaw you are a God among men and may the Lord bless you for having to listen to these terrible songs on repeat leading up to the class and still manage to push us into amazing results. I have to BELIVE that our instructors are not the ones responsible for the music in MOI. I suspect these play lists come from the designers of MOI and they go with a predetermined workout. I get it. Not all of the music is bad. Just 60% of it. All I'm saying is I really wish that whoever is designing these playlists would take into consideration the club demographics in urban areas when choosing the songs. I am sure a lot of MOI's playlists are great for somewhere like Aspen or wherever MOI was developed. Not so much for us over here on the east coast. Would it kill you to add a little hip-hop and more EDM or DubStep? Maybe even a class with all electronic music.... SOMETHING?! 

If I have to hear another country song in a spin class, I may get up and walk out. I just can't with this music. Country has a time and place... mostly drinking beer around a tailgate... NOT when I am trying to sweat my ass off with 30 of my closest friends... who, mind you, are ALL bitching about the same terrible music. Please hear my cry MOI. We need better music! //end rant//

Ugh, I am going to cleanse my earholes. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Day 22: Ain't No Half-Steppin'

When I walked into the gym this morning, Q tells me we are going to be straight cardio training today. My first thought was "Shit, she is going to put me back on my arch enemy, the stair climber. I am going to have to make a run for it".... thankfully, she did not. She stuck me on the treadmill for an hour and jacked up the incline to one billion. My head was basically touching the ceiling. It didn't suck like I thought it would though. She does a really good job of keeping my mind off of what I am actually doing.  I ended up burning over 750 calories, I tried to take a picture of the incline, but it turned out all wonky and you can't read it. So Q took this one:

 

 

I am a bit surprised with this picture. Wendy mentioned the other day that she could tell a difference in the side pictures. I could not.... but when I look at this photo, I can. Maybe it is because my arms are up. I don't know. I mean, the numbers don't lie... I know there are major changes going down. I checked my weight again this morning... Since first seeing Q for nutrition in September last year, I have lost 17.1 pounds. 10 of those pounds were lost in the last 21 days. The weight is melting off with this whole insane training schedule I have going.

 

Speaking of melting. Q has me in the sauna for 20 minutes after our workouts now. Apparently its good for your muscles. I had never been in a sauna before. They honestly just looked like a really hot box and not very much fun.... but I was wrong. Saunas are awesome. It reminded me of my once beloved tanning bed. (I used to be an obsessive tanner, but stopped a few years ago because I became absurdly paranoid about skin cancer.) I went to sleep and ended up in there for longer than I meant to be, but not before taking a selfie... 

 

 

After I left the gym I went on about my business. I ran up to Alexandria and had lunch with my friend Desi. I love her. She is the best. She is kind of a social media genius, so she gave me a crash course on all things social. I have my work cut out for me. I left around 5:30 and headed back to the gym for round two.

 

I told you once before I am a bit of a voyeur when it comes to the trainers. I love watching other peoples sessions. When I went back to the gym, I was 20 minutes early for my Kettlebell class with Steven; so, I posted up on one of the stationary bikes. I am fairly convinced those things don't do a damn thing for you body, but I can easily sit in the corner, play on my phone and take unsuspecting pictures of Joey with no one any the wiser. I sat there with my hood up for about 15 minutes before my peoples noticed I was there. See:

 

Hi Joey. I miss your hair (Seahawks lost so he had to shave it all off this morning. Boys an their bets, I will never understand it.) The dude in the yellow is that Josh guy I talk about sometimes. He is one of the Crossfit coaches and personal trainers. He is cool.... kind of... ;)

 

After I got my kicks from watching Joey, I waddled over to the KB class. Sabrina had just finished up with Q so she made her go to the class with me. Poor Sabrina. This is why you have to run out the gym as soon as your time is up, otherwise you end up getting thrown into something else. KB was "fun". I used the 17 pound weight again and realized that I really was tossing that thing around like it ain't nothing. So, Wednesday I really am going use the 26 pounder (I know I said I was last Wednesday, but I was scared). After all, ain't no half-steppin' when it comes to fighting this battle.

 

On that note, I am out. I will talk to you tomorrow.

 

 

Day 19: With a Little Help From My Friends

Man, today started out awesome. I had Pilates with Vicki, which is certainly my most looked forward to class of every week. We have excellent music, excellent instruction, and excellent results. I got some really awesome stretching in. I felt limber, awake and happy, and then my mental shit hit the fan.

I really wish I could wear a shirt all the time that says "Bitch, Don't Kill My Vibe". I would mostly use it as a reminder for the other me to stop being such a buzz kill when I am having a fabulous day.... but I would also hope that other people would see it and think to themselves "Maybe I shouldn't be such a dick" or maybe they would magically become aware of the shittastic energy they are putting out in the world... but it's whatev's. People are assholes, they have their own shit, I get that. You can't be happy all the time.

Anyway, so in a two hour time span, I went from being relaxed and happy to tense and pissed off, or on, whichever way you want to look at it, and I took that attitude into what was supposed to be the best training session of the week. Q had set up for me and Lena to do a partner workout on Lena's last day at Gold's. Unfortunately, the first thing we did was get on my sworn enemy, the stair climber. Look, I am not even going to pretend like I was having a good time. I most certainly was not. At one point I was damn serious, I was about to quit the challenge. As the words came out of my mouth, Q yells "I don't train quitters"... which she doesn't. So I didn't quit. I sucked up my pissyness and kept stepping. I made it through the time on the stupid thing, but not without a lot of misery, huffing and puffing. The next twenty minutes I was still pretty grumbly, but then something weird happened and the happy me came back out of the blue. After we finished the 2nd round of inchworms, we stood up and interrupted our workout to dance it out on the turf. We are kind of awesome like that.

The rest of the workout was as fun as it should have be to begin with. Q took some pictures, check it:

Once we were finished, we wandered over to the smoothie bar, grabbed a drink and chatted with Morgan. I even met Joeys new competition, Dominic. Dude has the potential to be a beast. Joey better step his game up! Needless to say, I ended up sitting there until 4pm. The rest of the day went off without a hitch, I wrote, I stayed in my happy place. Lets aim to stay in our happy place next week, okay? On that note, I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Day 12: Welcome Back Flexibility, I’ve Missed You

I don’t have much to say about today other than I LOVE Pilates and holy crap I almost did a split. Last week when I did Pilates for the first time in many years, I left a little disheartened because I could no longer fold my body in the ways I once could. (Note: Many moons ago, I did Yoga/Pilates 5 days a week and was super flexible; I had since lost all flexibility and could barely touch my toes.)  

I am not sure what happened between last Friday and today, but I was killing it. During one set, Vicki had me keep moving my foot further away as I was going down, to the point I was almost in a complete split. I felt the stretch, but I was still in disbelief, so I asked her after class. Sure enough, she said she was so excited because I was in fact, almost in a full split. Next time, she is taking a photo for proof.

Now I am off to enjoy my weekend. We have friends coming over for game night. Yay! Here is to celebrating life and a week well done.

Day 9: Everything is Awesome

Everything is cool when you're part of a team
Everything is awesome
When we're living our dream

Today is one of those days I am totally humming “Everything is Awesome”…. Because everything is AWESOME. Crossfit sucks, but Crossfit is even awesome when your class consists of 1 instructor and 1 of your friends. Now I do have to say, this particular Crossfit is like Crossfit for beginners. It is called Crossfit Element’s. This teaches you how to do the move correctly in order to get you ready for “mother crossfit”. This is everything we did today:

It was a 9am class and my first time ever doing Crossfit. The very first sentence out of my mouth to the instructor, Marci was: “Hi, I’m Nicole, and I am terrified of Crossfit”. She smiled and assured me it was not scary. I still had my doubts... but now that I have Q as my trainer, I can assure you Crossfit is not so scary.  However, I repeat, It does suck. Thankfully it was just me, Lena and Marci who as people do not suck.

I love working out with Lena because she makes me laugh. I really love people who make me laugh, it is my most favorite thing to do. So when Marci says “make sure your chest hits the floor before your stomach” during the WOD pushups, and Lena shoots a look to Marci with her big doe eyes and says “But I can’t, my stomach is bigger than my chest!” (Which it is really, really not) I started laughing because she didn’t miss a beat. In addition to Lena’s quick sense of humor, she has been doing Crossfit for a little bit now and it made me push myself further than I probably would have otherwise. I tried my best to keep up with her, but that last set of wall balls did me in.  I really want to be friends with that damn medicine ball, but he sure is making it hard! Enjoy this picture of our relationship struggle:

After we finished up Lena and I walked over to the smoothie bar to refuel and started chatting with my favorite bartender Shep.  This guy has honestly become one of my favorite people in the entire world. He is an incredibly talented artist and one of the nicest and most humble people you will ever meet. He brings a smile to my face every time I talk to him. Today was no exception. He, along with other talented local artists are working on massive installations for the new Clearbrook Center for the Arts in Tackett’s Mill.  As we were talking, he started drawing and behold with only a marker I watched him bring form and motion to life with his hands. I was completely hypnotized. Next thing you know, he hands me the marker and tells me to “add a line”. I was so nervous, I felt like I was just given a piece of gold from King Midas and I was a lonely popper who didn’t know what to do with it. He gave me a lesson on how to Zentangle and I ended up sitting there for the next 2 and a half hours drawing and painting with an incredible artist who I am proud to call my friend. This is the master in action:

That’s right, at our gym we foster healthy bodies and healthy minds. I did Crossfit and then got an art lesson from one of the most talented people I have ever met. What do you do at your gym?  

After I got out of my art bubble and realized what time it was, I left and ran over to Ikea to buy more stuff for a client. The rest of the day flew. I went to Arlington to drop off my clients items, came home, cooked dinner, started writing tonight’s entry, and then headed back to the Gym for Zumba. Lena even decided to stick around for class tonight too! So together we danced our butts off with Frank. It was a wonderful day. EVERYTHING was AWESOME!

To end, I shall leave you with some of Shep’s pieces I hijacked off his Instagram. If you love art and want to be inspired, follow him. His name is Shepherd Norman and handle is “___evol_” (that is three underscores, evol, one underscore). He has so many mediums, it is incredible. Enjoy!

 

 

Day 6: Treat. Yo. Self.

These last couple of days have been rough. I have been on a roller coaster of emotion. One minute being strong and excited and the next a ball of nerves unable to get out of my head. I also haven’t been getting more than 4 hours of sleep at night. I felt the crash coming and it was scaring me.

Let me explain. I don’t “talk about feelings” with people. Ironic coming from someone chronicling a 90 day transformation journey, I know; but that is one of the reasons why I am doing this. I am forcing myself to open up, be venerable and work through my issues. Writing is a lot different for me than talking. With writing, I don’t have to see the concern in the face of a person or hear the pity in their voice once I confess my weaknesses. I can control what I release by pressing the delete button.

I do however, occasionally wear emotion on my face... which is the worst. Then people ask me what the hell is wrong because I am not smiling or joking around like normal. I usually just brush over it or make something up to satisfy the question and force a smile. Until today. This morning I was training with Q and towards the end she mentioned she noticed my energy level seamed low.  I said “yeah, it is. We’ll talk after the session”. In my head I just planned on telling her I wasn’t sleeping and wanted some advice or supplements to take. What actually happened was I finally opened up to someone about my physical insecurities. I think Q may have missed her calling as a therapist. She listened, said some very insightful things and gave me a lot to think about. It was a much needed release and I am grateful to have found someone I feel safe enough to talk to about the journey.

I left the gym with a more stable outlook and went to my studio and started tinkering around. Overall, I had a very productive day (something I am noticing is a definite side effect of working out). Another side effect to working out is being able to fit into your clothes better and walking with more confidence. I found this out at 5 o’clock when I started getting ready to go out to a cabaret in DC. My skin was clearer, my face was brighter, and my legs were stronger.  I put on a little black dress, heels, and hair, and celebrated life and a week well done with my husband and friends.

 

I had a glass or three of wine, let all of my negative emotions and self-doubt go, and indulged in the decadent and opulent atmosphere of SAX DC. I had the best time I have had in months. I felt sexy, loved, and free. I am ready to tackle next week. 

So cheers to you friends, and remember to Treat. Yo. Self.  It is good for you. I will talk with you tomorrow. 

Day 3: I Woke Up Like Dis…In Pain

I have been sore from working out before, but I am not so sure ever quite like this. This morning I am sore in very specific points of my ass and legs. So sore that when I started walking down the stairs, I just knew this was the end, I was about to tumble down the stairs and break my neck. This is how I was going to die. Thankfully, I have a tendency of jumping to the worst possible conclusion and in fact did not die. However, I wanted to…. I made it halfway down the stairs and realized I had to turn around and go grab my Exerspy because I left it sitting on the counter. (Side Note// Attn Body Media: I think you are behind the curve. The fact this thing is not waterproof is somewhat ridiculous. I should be able to wear it in the shower. Please get it together.) Needless to say, I made it back down the stairs and cooked myself a “delicious” breakfast consisting of oatmeal and 3 fried eggs (no fat added, thanks PAM). So here I sit, not dead, with my laptop, water bottle, and dog snuggled by the fire (it’s snowing out). It all feels very 1900’s brooding writer; minus the laptop, and the fact I’m blogging and not writing a great American novel.

At this point, I should probably introduce you to my two dear friends who are on this journey with me. My longtime friend turned roommate, Joey. And Sabrina, the friend from “day one” who convinced me to join Gold’s ETC in the first place. (Hi guys, you rock.) Joey is doing the challenge and will be training three times a week with Mike. For Joey it is all about the gains. Sabrina just joined the challenge and will be training twice a week with a trainer yet to be determined. (Personally, I hope she gets Caesare. He is a beast and we love him.) She is using the challenge to kick start her fitness goals for 2015.

Last night I decided to go back to the gym to take a 7pm Zumba class with Sabrina and Joey came for the TSAC demo. (TSAC is Tactical Strength and Conditioning for Military, Fire, Police, etc. In my opinion, it is for crazy people. I am not kidding you when I tell you they have people puking). Now Zumba (specifically with Frank) is like going to the club. The music is amazing, we have super fun disco lights, and Frank is a riot. We have dance offs in class and he comes down to dance with us individually. I don’t think I am very good, but when he picks you out of the crowd to dance it out, it feels like you can do anything.  This is a picture of the studio before class started so you get the idea of the setting. There are usually 40 or 50 people in his class.

About halfway through Zumba I was so tired from training with Q earlier in the day, I felt my hips and legs screaming at me to give up. There are three reasons I didn’t: 1. Frank’s class is way to much fun 2. Right as I was thinking about quitting, Q jumps in the class and dances it out for a song in her full TSAC gear and 3. I look over and see Sabrina shaking what her momma gave her and knew she wasn’t going to quit, so I couldn’t either.

When class ended we walked over to the turf to go watch the TSAC demo where I found Joey. He was a sweaty mess. Apparently TSAC is every bit as intense as I think it is in my head. I am a bit of a voyeur when it comes to all this hard core training they do and I usually find myself a spot on a piece of cardio equipment so I can watch. See, here is my view:

I am telling you it is like “dinner and a show” (minus the dinner). ETC does TSAC, MMA, Boxing, and Crossfit. I think they are all nuts. If I was really honest with myself, I watch because I wish that was me, I am just scared of not being able to and embarrassing myself, but I am working through this. I will get there, I will climb that rope and carry those pipes, I will fight and one day I will be hard core too.

I will be hard core with the help of you, my readers and friends. Writing brings me great joy, it allows me to be introspective and really understand why I am doing this to begin with. However, writing publically wouldn’t be as much fun if no one was reading, so I have to thank you for all your sweet comments, phone calls, and emails. It means a lot to me that you are taking time out of your day to read this. You are part of my much needed support structure.

Support…. I can’t tell you how important it is to have friends in this with you and an incredible support system at the gym. Having Joey and Sabrina in this with me is amazing, I have people who get it and people to bitch to, both very important.  The best part is it doesn’t end there. The ETC family is unreal. I don’t even know how they managed to staff an entire gym with kind and loving people. I didn’t even know people like this still existed, especially in Northern VA. When I walked in the first time after my “holiday break” Matt, one of the sales guys sees me and asks me how I was feeling because he heard I had been sick. Shep, my favorite “bartender” (We have a smoothie bar) gives me a hug. Lena, the front desk manager sees me and screams “Hi honey, we missed you!” Vikki, one of the fitness directors takes time for her busy day to come say hi and chat for a bit. Last night Joe, one of the owners walked by and said “Hi, Nicole”.  At ETC you are not just a number, you are a person who they care about. This is going to be the difference. This is what is going to help me succeed. I am truly grateful to have found this family.

With that being said. I am off to be productive. I have MOI (Mind Over Intensity) Cycle at 5:30 with Sabrina and Joey. I will try to stay alive to see another day. Talk with you tomorrow.