Man, I don't know why I do this to myself. I have two pieces of clothing that are hanging in my closet that I have never been able to fit my big ass into. This morning I thought it would be a good idea to try them on. My orange tunic fits better, but I still wouldn't wear it in public. It fits everywhere but my arms, they are cut fairly slim compared to the rest of the shirt. I use this particular item to gauge my upper body progress.
The other item is this little black skirt I bought from Gap right before new years. I bought it because it said it was my size, but I could never pull it up past my hips. (The Gap Outlet has really jacked up sizing sometimes. You would think that I would try stuff on since I know this, but no). So, in my delusional morning stupor, I tried it on... I did manage to get it over my hips, but there is no way in hell I was getting that thing zipped. I think I have a good 3 months of hard work and a strict diet before it fits, for real. It has like a 5 inch gap. I would be lying If I said I wasn't disappointed. I really, really was. I was feeling skinny, so I was pretty bummed when it didn't come close to fitting.
The mind is a funny thing. I would think I would be happy because I could get it over my hips, as I was never able to do this previously... but no. Instead I felt defeated.
I took my whineyness to the gym and showed Q the pictures. She told me to get over myself and not to be crazy. So, I took out my frustration on the workout. I eventually got over it and started laughing. See, since I couldn't fit into my skirt, I decided to wear these ridiculous sauna pants I found in my closet. I felt like I was wearing dirty pee pants. They felt so gross. I must have lost a 2 liter worth of water from those things alone. I probably should have tried on my skirt afterword, it may have fit, lol.
I guess it will be awhile before I go and try on clothes that could potentially wreck my immediate emotional state. Instead I will stick to trying on something one size down. That seems to work out in my favor. I actually wore a size 16 jeans this afternoon for the first time in years and needed a belt. So I will take my small wins wear I can get them. I'll talk to you tomorrow.
